I have been invited by the BBC to sing Rule Britannia at The Last Night of the Proms this year at the Royal Albert Hall. I can only assume that I have been asked as second choice as Dame Edna's engagements have taken her to more illustrious venues. However, I feel that the spirit of her great artistry should still hover over the occasion. Accordingly, I should be extremely grateful if you were able to divulge (without incurring the wrath of your employer) the name of one of the many couturiers who have assisted Dame Edna in building the legend of her sartorial singularity. I hope that one of these gentlemen - or ladies - could help me design a gown to reflect my inherent patriotism. I would emphasise that I do not seek to emulate or parody (what lèse-majesté!) Dame Edna, but only to imprint on the festivities a small glimmer of the sparkle that she herself brings to the RAH.

I do hope that Dame Edna will not think it too presumptuous of a minor artiste like myself to approach a Megastar of her calibre and, although I realise that she must keep your nose to the grindstone, I would be so grateful for your help in this matter.

Yours sincerely,

Sarah Walker

PS - If Kenny Everage should happen to be in town it would be a privilege to speak to him as I'm sure a measure of Dame Edna's exquisite taste has filtered down to him through his genes.